Thursday, 27 September 2012

Anxiety; my story... so far.

Anxiety; my story... so far

Please read with an open and non judgemental mind, this is officially a safe free zone from judgment!!!

It’s time to face the title of my blog. Stop putting it off and write about what I really want to write about, why I started this blog in the first place! How am I going to help somebody else if I don’t put myself out there ‘bare all to the world’ and be a little support blog for others?

So, as you’ve probably gathered from the ‘anxiety confessions’ I suffer with pretty bad anxiety and I think the best place to start is the beginning.. Yes this is going to be a long blog post but if your not interested don’t read it, I’m not writing this for attention I’m writing it for me, for other anxiety sufferers and to make more people aware of ‘mental illness’

My anxiety started probably without me realising fully last November (2011) I went to University in Manchester in the September, left an amazing job that I loved, my amazing family, my boyfriend and everything I’ve ever known for ‘the big city’ where my life was going to change, but unfortunately for me it didn’t change in ways I thought it would. I hated it from the moment I had to get in the car and say goodbye to my Mum, Sunday 18th September my life officially changed and a year on I’m still trying to get it back! After nearly two months I came back for my birthday 5th November and just couldn’t go back, the thought made me physically sick I cried and finally told my mum how much it was getting me down and how I felt I’d made a mistake but didn’t want to fail or let anyone down, she told me to stay and not to force myself into doing something that was making me miserable to please other people! After hearing her say that it was final, I was never going back. I went back the following week to get my stuff, say good byes and officially leave uni, that day me and Chris (my boyfriend) went to Manchester and did that was such a relief but at the time I didn’t know what this big change and up raw in my life had caused.

Once I got back from University my anxiety well and truly kicked in, I was back in my safe place, my happy place and everything was going to get better and I’d get a job, but then I tried going out and I couldn’t and ever since Mid November last year I haven’t been out of my house until recently but still I can not go any where on my own or over a certain amount of time. I have panic attacks at the thought of having to go somewhere; I’m on high dosses of medication to literally get myself through the day with out having an anxiety attack. It’s horrible having all our independence ripped away from you, I can not explain how frustrating it feels to just want to open the front door and go some where, on my own with out someone having to be there but I just cant do it because when ever I’m in public I get panicky and feel sick, normally I am sick this is why I need someone with me to look after me and that can drive me back home straight away if needs be. To put it into prospective, anyone who knows my knows how much I adore my cousin Erin and how close we are and that she’s my best friend, New Years Eve as I couldn’t go out and Erin was staying in she invited me round to her house which is two doors up from my house and I couldn’t even do that at the time it took all my strength and determination to not be on my tod on New Years Eve to go round, once I was there I finally opened up to her and she was the first person apart from my mum that I told and she’s been amazing ever since.

I’ve become an awful lot closer to the people that matter in my life over the past year as something like this really does show you who is really there for you and after loosing all my ‘best’ friends I was left with no body I felt but now I can look back and in a strange way be thankful to my ‘illness’ for showing me who really care, all the flacky people as Chris likes to call them have shown their true colours and the true important people have shined through the horrible big black cloud! So I really need to say thank you to my extremely understanding mum, my amazing and strong minded dad, my beautiful and caring baby sister, my beyond amazing cousin Erin, my extremely understanding and my rock boyfriend Chris and his brilliant second mammy to me, mum, my beautiful, pregnant with my god baby, friend Charlotte and all of the friends and family that have stuck by me!

After the awful year it has been I’ve recently started seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and that’s why I want to write this blog, write about my journey and the steps I’m taking and how things are improving, like a diary that everyone else can read ha but that’s good, I want to make people understand and just because you cant physically see a problem doesn’t mean its not there and unfortunately for me during the past year that’s the main thing I’ve learnt, people cant understand therefore aren’t there for you. I’ve started counselling with the charity Mind in Ulverston every Friday so I think every Friday I’ll write a post on how it went and what I’ve learnt, so far I’ve learnt I’m not crazy and I AM AN AMAZINGLY STRONG PERSON who deserves to kick anxiety in the face and I will.. watch this space ;)

I truly hope at least one person benefits from this blog and blogs to come, thank you for reading if you did it means a lot!! 

Next blog post will be Make up related promise! ;)

Thursday, 20 September 2012

Get rid of acne from the inside out?!

We all love sweets right? And chocolate and fizzy pop, all the really unhealthy not good for us or our skin stuff! I LOVE Pepsi, think I’m actually addicted to the stuff, but I’m starting to realise my ‘addiction’ is the cause of my spots, I never really suffered with acne until now and now I’m 20 surely I shouldn’t get spots anymore – WRONG! So I’ve decided instead of filling my pores with cleansers and toners and spot ‘miracle’ zappers I’m going to focus on the inside, getting rid of my acne from the inside out!

I defiantly do not eat my five a day and to be honest, I hate veg, fruit I can eat but not loads, bores me! So I’ve opted for a SUPER JUICE a quick and easy way to get all them vitamins in me with out having to eat loads of fruit etc!

You will need a juicer to join me kicking acne in the face from the inside out!

My super juice recipe –

Carrots – 4, unpeeled and cut up the fit in the juicer.
Apple – 1, unpeeled, uncored and cut up the fit in the juicer.
Kiwi fruit – 1, peeled and cut up to fit in the juicer.
Parsley – 1 handful, including the stem.

I know this sounds disgusting but trust me it’s not!!!!! Apples are so strong and acidic they over power any other flavour from the carrots and parsley, give it a go! As you can see from the above pictures there are no bits in the juice the juicer is a clever little gadget that grates everything you put in it and just leaves you with the juice.

Why will this help my skin I hear you ask ;)

Well, all these ingredients are super-rich in vitamins A, C and E rich B vitamins and potassium.

- Vitamin C is a strong antioxidant that keeps your skin cells safe from all the harmful stuff in the air that causes premature ageing, having vitamin C in your diet with prevent premature again, prevent skin dis coloration and brighten your skin tone. Oranges and grapes are also a good way to get vitamin C into your diet if you’re a whimp ;)

- Vitamin E is basically a acne butt kicker, it is the most powerful bioactive antioxidant among all vitamins, Vitamin E can immediately catch and remove any free radicals that come near your cells.

 Vitamin B helps your skin by reducing the amount of homocysteines in your blood. Homocysteines affect both your circulation system and endocrine system. Elevated levels of this compound cause cholesterol to form plaque, which impairs your blood flow. High homocysteines levels also trigger stress response, which can cause acne breakouts and hives. Increasing your vitamin B encourages better oxygenation of your skin cells and reduces its exposure to stress damage.

As well as being good for your skin the potassium is an essential part in the production of enzymes which stimulate energy production so a glass of this of a morning will set you up for the day and improve your skin – I’m hoping!

So I’m giving this LOVELY drink a go every morning when I get up with my breakfast and I will post some before and after pictures and give the drink a review in 7 days!

Fingers crossed to a healthy me and spot free skin! 

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

My favourite lip sticks!

I love lippy, it can change your whole face, tie in colours from your outfit or just jazz up plain make up if your not in the mood to spend time on a dramatic eye but want a dramatic look or you could use soft pinks and glosses for a simple pretty look! 

So heres just a few of my favourites (please excuse the spots, no foundation ha) - 

Revlon Colour Burst £7.00 from Superdrug

 - 090 Sweet Tart

- 015 Tuti Frutti

- 045 Cotton Candy

I love these lipsticks for every day use, but I have a feeling I wont be using them as much during the winter there defiantly summer colours, but I'd defiantly buy the same product in different colours as I love the way these glide on, they have a shimmer to them, to be honest there more like lip glosses but with better pigment! So if your lucky and still have a holiday coming up in the sun I would recommend these, especially Cotton Candy it's really shimmery and glossy! 

Maybelline New York - Colour Sensation £7.19

- 175 Pink Punch

AMAZINGGGG!!!! Think the picture says it all!! this is my go to lip stick for a night out, I really should mix it up but heyhoo if you love something?! This lipstick like the Revlon ones just glides on with no effort, its really shinny so if you prefer a Matt lipstick then heres a lal tip ;) blot your lips with a tissue then use a loose face powder I always use Rimmel Silky Loose Face Powder, just put a bit on your finger and blot it onto the lips - two lip sticks in one ;)

MaxFactor Colour Elixir Lip Liner £ 4.99

- 10 Red Rose 

Yes a lip liner, if you want a Matt finish that will and I promise last ALL day then lip liners are the best, I know there meant to line your lips but it honestly lasts all days so break the 'rules' I wear this lip liner everyday with just foundation, blush and mascara - easy peasy lemon squizzy!   

- 500 Diva red 

This just adds more depth and a shine to the lipliner above and I think they work really well together as the Diva Red on its own is a little dark the liner all over your lip brightens it up a bit!! I love Red lips, I think everyone can pull it off with the right shade! 

If you’ve got brown or black hair with a warm complexion then look for shades of red with a brown base. Lipsticks that use words like, deep orange, golden red and coral to describe the shade is what you’re looking for. If yourcomplexion is on the cooler side then try cherry reds, plum and burgundy.

Blondes with a warm complexion can get away with coral red, orange red, or copper red. While cool complexions should give anything described as dusty rose, plum pink, light red/rose or any red with a blue undertone a go.

Redheads with a warm complexion should go for orangey, brighter shades of red. While those with a cool complexion can pull off blue toned reds (which make teeth look whiter) and darker reds like plum, berry and brick. 

So theres a few of my fav's.. Whats your favourite?! 


Not relevant to beauty at all, but I couldn't really start truly blogging until I've wrote a special special thank you to my amazing 'Cousters' = 'Cousins' + 'Sisters' 

In the above pictures is me, my amazing cousin Erin and my baby sister Jasmin, these two are my rocks, along with the rest of my family! I wouldn't of even thought about a blog if it wasn't for my ubber talented cousin Erin, everyone needs an Erin and a Jasmin in their lives and I'm so lucky their alllllllll mine!!!! 

It's true you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family, well it turns out I'm not very good at picking 'good' friends so its a bloody good job that I was blessed with these two! 

I love you both!

Fav YouTube guru's

So, YouTube in my opinion is an absolute GOD SEND!! If like me you are a visual learner then you will love this blog post :)

Last year when my anxiety started I had so much time on my hands from not being able to work or go out, gee whizz I was bored!! But I discovered YouTube Make Up Guru's and have been in love ever since, I have learnt sooooo much from the YouTube Guru's so I want to share with you a few of my fav's - I love watching their videos, honestly I'll go to bed start watching some videos and next minute its 3am, see obsessed haha. 

So heres my fav's :)

1. The Make Up Chair - I love Sinead's videos because there 'do able' so if your just starting out with Make Up she's the best place to start. She lives in Ireland so love her accent and she always updates her channel! She is a professional Make Up artist but never uses high end redic expensive products, she loves drug store so its really easy to recreate her looks! Below is a link to one of my fav videos of hers :)

2. Beauty by Carli Bybel - Carli's videos are a lot more intense, dramatic and just bloody stunning!!!! honestly she is officially thee beautifulest person I have ever seen, with out sounding like a weirdo stalker ha. I love the looks she does as I personally love experimenting and using bold colours and having dramatic eyes, she's defo worth a watch! Although she does use a lot of MAC and high end products, but I'm going to do one of her looks myself using drug store products and show you how I got her look :)

3. Kandeejohnson - Kandee, again is amazing! I love watching her videos she does brill make up and she's HUGE in America. I like Kandee's channel because she does everything from make up to hair to cooking, so this is an everything, just happy channel rather than just a 'learn how to do make up' channel! I always feel happier after watching her video's, she's so bubbly and happy, everyone needs a Kandee in their lives! And she's truly inspiring, she lost her dad this year and she's done a few videos on how to cop etc. If you want to be inspired she's worth a watch!

4. gossmakeupartist - I personally dont watch this YouTube channel for different Make Up looks, this channel is more to do with techniques and really good explanations on how to contour and high light your face - which ladies is a MUST!!!! He has loads of videos on Kim K's Make Up, its amazing what Kim's Make Up artist does to her, so heres how you learn to do the Kim K amazing cheek bones and her infamous under eye glow! 

5. shaanxo - Love Love Love this channel, its the most recent one i've came across and I just love her laid back approach to her videos - If I ever got the guts to start my own videos this would be how I do it, she uploads loads of 'chit chat getting ready' videos and does a lot of fun, easy make up! 

6. vintageortacky - Last but no means least Vintage or Tacky, first of she's so funny to watch, she doesn't take herself to seriously and she does thee most outrageous amazing eye make up! Like me she loves disney and she's done a lot of really creative disney inspired looks! her 'normal' Make Up is also brilliant and again watch her if your after more of an out there bold Make Up look! 

So there you go 6 of my fav youtube Guru's, there are thousands of Make Up videos on YouTube, and yes I've probably watched them all haha but these are my definite favourites, from nice easy low budget to dramatic high end products theres something for everyone! Click on the links you like, and once you've watched the video click on their name and it will take you to all of their videos, probably about 600 odd videos between then, so happy watching - hope your inspired like I was :) 

Lots looooooove!

So here goes..

Hey Guys and Dolls, welcome to my blog - Make up obsession and Anxiety confessions! 

My names Jade I'm from a Cumbria, The Lake District and if you haven't guessed from my blog title I am obsessed with all things beauty, Make Up, Hair, Skin Care - I LOVE it all so I thought why not start a blog and talk about the things I'm buying, loving, hating, OOTD and all that jazz :) I love buying new products and I am constantly getting new things, I love trying everything and experimenting with different products so why not write a blog and share my thoughts and things I've learnt!  

I have always loved Make Up, but my passion for it has doubled over the last year, which brings me to the second part of my title, Anxiety. I'm anxious just writing this and 'baring' all the the world - well who ever chooses to follow this, but it's something extremely close to my heart and I want to talk about my experience, what I'm going through and hopefully help somebody! YES I suffer from Anxiety, the big tabu 'Mental Health' and I know it sounds cheesy but Make Up and beauty has really helped me through the past year, any one who knows about Anxiety or have gone or is going through it will understand it's near impossible to stay focused on anything other than the Anxiety so with me being able to find something I love and I am passionate about is amazing.

Enough of the seriousness, gezz I've made out this is going to be all serious, trust me its not :) I'm just here to hopefully inspire somebody, to help them find a new lipstick that makes them feel one in a million or show somebody that they are not  alone, and it does get better :)   

Any way, I won't blab on I'm sure I'll be doing lots of that soon :) I really hope you enjoy my thoughts, pictures, reviews and help on all things beauty and my journey and surviving Anxiety :)                         

Lots and lots of love,